Titus 2 Be Sober
Be sober. It may not be what immediately comes to mind when you think of feminine qualities, but it is the first on the list in Titus chapter 2. The best way to start diving into God describes as feminine is to look to the Word. Thankfully God has given women instructions regarding what to focus on. If you came to this post from “Biblical Femininity Introduction” you’ll remember that I said, “It’s important to take what is important to God and make it important to us.” What better place to start than the Word to find out what is important to Him!
Importance Of Getting Into The Word
We look to the Word because “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” The Word is what changes and transforms us on the inside – the side God really cares about! It’s the inside that flows out. What comes out is what defiles, Jesus told us. So we really want to have humble hearts and let the Word do its work in us.
So, Here We Are In Titus
You do want to have a systematic bible reading plan, but it’s also necessary to jump around sometimes as well. When you are studying biblical femininity, you will inevitably be directed to Titus. Titus is a pastoral epistle written by Paul in the first century. The pastoral epistles are thus named because they give very practical advice for pastors in leading their flocks. People need an immense amount of instruction and guidance, even on things as seemingly innate as teaching women how to be a woman!
The part we’re looking at picks up in chapter 2.
Titus 2
Titus 2 opens with instructions for aged men, then aged women. The bulk of the chapter is wisdom they should pass down to younger women and men. Let’s pick up in verse 4 with areas the aged women (aged in years or more experienced in spiritual life) are to teach the younger about. We’ll get to the tips for the older women later in the series.
“…teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Titus 2:4-5)
Right out of the gates, Paul gets us with serious instruction. Be sober. What does that mean and how do we live it out?
What Does “Be Sober” Mean?
The word here in the New Testament is sophronizo (G4994): to make of sound mind, i.e. (figuratively) to discipline or correct:—teach to be sober. It comes from sophron (G4998): safe (sound) in mind, i.e. self-controlled (moderate as to opinion or passion): discreet, sober, temperate.
The two Greek words are used 5 times in the New Testament. They are translated 3 times as sober (or to make sober), and once each as discreet and temperate (in the King James).
Webster 1828 defines “sober” as:
- temperate in the use of spiritous liquors; habitually temperate… not drunken
- Not mad or insane; not wild, visionary or heated with passion; having the regular exercise of cool dispassionate reason
- Regular; calm; not under the influence of passion
- Serious; solemn; grave
Which Definition Is Paul Intending?
In chapter 1 Paul gives qualifications for a church leader including sober and temperate, the latter being more specifically self control. So he probably doesn’t exactly mean self-control here.
Then in chapter 2, Paul tells Titus to teach 3 groups: aged men, aged women, and younger men. The younger women are to be taught by the older women specifically. These 4 groups of people are instructed to be sober in slightly different ways.
The men he tells to be sober AND grave AND temperate, so he probably doesn’t mean sober as in grave/serious. The aged women are told likewise (to the men’s list) AND not to be given to much wine so he’s also not telling people to watch their drinking habits with the word sober. The aged women needed this quality SO THAT they can teach the younger women to be sober.
Lastly, the younger men were to be taught (not by the older women, but the older men) to be sober minded, so more emphasis is on the mind for them.
This basically leaves sober to mean “moderate, not under the influence, or easily influenced by passions”, which we could also call temperate. This will be the main focus in this post.
Why Be Sober?
- It helps us know God (the word is temperance in this passage) “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:5-8
- It helps us finish our race well “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: but I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.”
1 Cor 9:24-27 - It is the last days. “But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer.” 1 Peter 4:7
It can be hard to continue to work on something when we don’t have a strong reason why. How gracious of God to give us such clear reasons for this topic! This is not always the case. We should obey the Word even when we can’t figure out why, but take a moment to be thankful for this gift.
Now that we know what we’re aiming for and why, let’s consider some ways to see it happen in our lives.
Consider Influences
Substances are not the only things that can intoxicate us. Our minds can also be dulled, polluted, and influenced by the things we allow into our eyes and ears. This can include all kinds of media from horrors like pornography down to simple fun entertainment. Being mindful, too, of what we listen to can help us keep our wits about us. Even innocent things often have just a bit of unsavoriness snuck in.
Satan does not play fair.
He will throw tiny things in to slowly but surely poison and desensitize us over time. Be careful what you let in!
When I notice that I’ve been struggling to be sober, some simple questions I ask myself are:
- Have I spent more time scrolling/watching videos today or reading/listening to my Bible (or other spiritual content) and praying? I notice when I get more of the latter, the gates to the city of my heart and mind are well-fortified.
- Another is making sure I notice when I am picking up habits from other people, either ones that I know personally or virtually. Is this a good quality that is improving my life? If not, how can I decrease this influence in my life?
- When bad things happen, do I yield to worry, fear, anxiety, doom, or faith, hope, resolve?
- Lastly, are my knee-jerk reactions controlled and peaceful, or angry, defensive, offended?
These questions get my self-assessment on a roll, highlighting areas that have been slipping lately.
Now, these are great and practical tips, but by our efforts alone, we can only get so far. We need spiritual fortification even more than sensible check lists.
Put On The Spiritual Armor
Martin Luther said,
“You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but
you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”
In other words, Satan will always be attacking (birds are often a symbol of Satan in the Bible), but it is up to us how far we let those fiery darts penetrate, how comfortable we get with sinful thoughts and habits. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us to “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”
What is better to fight fiery darts with than armor?
Ephesians tells us in chapter 6:10-18…
“…my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints”
This is a deeply exciting passage to fully study on its own at another time.
For now, suffice to say that God has given us a lot to work with right here to aid us in our fight for not being easily influenced and taken away by passions (being sober).
Other Tools
Besides the spiritual armor, the rest of the Bible is filled with wisdom to help us be sober instead of carried away by passions.
- We have the simple advice to slow down many many times: slow to speak (James 1:19), slow to make decisions (Proverbs 15:22). Proverb 16:32 tells us “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”
- Keep the mind of Christ. As we become more like Him, His passions will overtake us instead of those that are from our flesh. “Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ…” Phil 2:5
- Keep good company. This is a recurring theme throughout Scripture. Who we spend the most time with will be who we end up the most like. Read Psalm 1, Proverbs 13:20, 1 Cor 15:33.
- Prayer. There is no prayer that is according to God’s will that He does not answer with a resounding “Yes!” Since the Word tells us so many times to be sober, we know that when we pray for help, God will do just that. (1 John 5:14)
You Have A Helper To Be Sober
Have self control. Do not be given away to passions. Be sober
Such a tall order can seem daunting. We do not measure up and the world is not getting any less aggressive at trying to convince us to go its way instead of God’s.
However, never forget that when you feel helpless to be sober at the right time in the right ways, that you have a helper. God promises to supply us with all that we need in order to do His will! You do not have to struggle endlessly to achieve things in your own strength.
You will fall short in your efforts to be sober, but where our shortcomings begin is exactly where God’s grace and power also come in. Have a soft heart, be honest with the Lord, and continue. It’s so very worth it! God is not expecting perfection anyway. This is not to say that we should not strive for a high standard of godly living, but He is not waiting to mercilessly crush us when we make mistakes. He knows we cannot be perfect.
In Conclusion
It’s reasonable to assume that since Paul lists “be sober” first on the list for younger women, that it’s of top importance. Moderation and temperance do naturally grow over time, so it can be especially challenging for younger women. I know it has gotten easier for me over time, and I hopefully have a few more decades of serving on God here on earth (that is my nice way to say I am not OLD yet).
The instruction to be sober is also found in so many places to so many different people that it’s easy to consider it a quality which all Christians should have. What holy fruit it can bear!
In the next post in this Femininity 101 series, we’ll move on to the next item on the list in Titus 2:
“Teach the young women… to love their husbands”.
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