“Femininity” is starting to become somewhat of an internet buzzword these days. It’s a fashion mood. It’s an identity. Some see it as opposed to feminism, some people are feminine AND feminist. And now men can be feminine, too.
Is feminine something you either are or aren’t? Can you…
Memorizing scripture verses is a very enriching way to experience to Word and deepen your relationship with the Lord. One of the main benefits of memorizing Bible verses is that is helps us avoid sin. Psalm 119:11 says, “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” In this post you’ll find some memory verses for wives and tips how to memorize them. Head to the Shop to get your printable version and start working on them today!
Do women have to be quiet? It’s a very good question for anyone seeking God’s design for women, especially if you’ve heard some Bible verses that say women should be silent. Does it mean that women are better seen and not heard?
The short answer is no, women do not need to be actually silent and not ever speak. There is no Bible verse that commands this and it cannot be constructed from the whole counsel of the Word like other concepts can.
The long answer is that there are plenty of times and situations where an astute woman, who seeks to glorify God daily, will choose to be slow to speak, hold her tongue, or don an unassuming demeanor.
In Proverbs alone, (KJV) there are 50 verses that mention the mouth, 19 mention the tongue, and 42 mention the lips. There is a lot to be said about saying!
Here are some examples from this book of wisdom:
He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Yet, none of these verses are specific to women only. All believers will benefit from controlling their speech. There are many times a godly woman can and should choose to refrain from speaking or limit her words. At other times, the Holy Spirit will guide her in HOW she is speaking.
There are two verses people usually reference when talking about women being quiet in church. The first is 1 Tim 2:12 “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence”.
This verse is referring to women not holding a teaching position in the church and that there should be courteous listening when the congregation is learning. This verse does not support women not speaking at all inside of a church building.
Next, the other verse comes from 1 Corinthians chapter 14. Verse 34 says “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.”
In this context, Paul spent multiple chapters outlining the proper use of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. He knew that this church in particular was very out of line with God’s peace and order in the way that they were using them on a regular basis. He tells this church to have THEIR women to be quiet, to be orderly as God is orderly.
This is not an instruction for women to never use the gifts of the spirit as the Bible says that sons AND daughters will prophesy in the last days, nor is it a command for women to never speak in the church or during a service. This verse, as in Timothy, emphasizes roles and order, not being perfectly silent.
The Bible does not command women to never speak. Certainly we are to be conscientious in our speech, using our tongue wisely for blessing and wisdom, but we need not be literally silent. Regarding church services, women are to remain out of elder and teaching positions and quietly respect the teaching of the Word (the latter applying to all men and women).
How do you love your children? Of course you do! What are Biblical ways to show love to the precious little ones in your life? Titus 2 instructs that young women should be taught to do this so that the Word is not blasphemed. It is very important!
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Titus 2:3-5
How To Get Housework Done When You Have Little Kids
If you have at least one young child, you have probably asked yourself how to get housework done when you have little kids. Especially if you are a full-time stay at home mom, this can be one of the biggest challenges you face before your children are old enough to be much help. As a homemaker, it can be very frustrating when one of your main domains feels constantly out of control.
In this post I’m sharing 5 useful tips to help you keep a more tidy and cleanly home. These are tips I personally used (and still use) when I was doing ALL the housework as not only my children were learning but I was also learning how to teach them to develop their skills.
“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied”
Proverbs 13:4
While there are numerous benefits to hanging on to less stuff in your house, one of the primary is without a doubt how much easier it is to keep your home tidy. You simply do not have to move as many objects if you have fewer of them.
What is the biggest pile of things moms complain most about picking up? Kids’ toys. Start there. Do you need three train sets? Do you need a whole storage tote bin full of wooden blocks? Does your 2 year old need sixteen t-shirts and four pairs of sunglasses? Probably not.
However, there are a few considerations when it comes to reducing things, though. Don’t go recklessly trashing everything in sight!
First, will you need it in the future? Is it a seasonal item such as autumn or holiday decor? That can stay even though you don’t use it much. Is it a repeated item? You likely don’t need as many as you have. Is it sentimental? Decide whether to display it or properly store it. Certain materials need to be stored in certain ways, so do a little research before chucking grandmother’s wedding gown in a cardboard box.
This article and this article have some great ideas to begin with.
Now, can you sell it to make a little money? Can you think of someone in need of this item for free? God always blesses a cheerful giver!
(2 Cor 9:6-8) Is it just junk and should have been thrown out a while ago? Appreciate it and let it go.
You will never clean up a major mountainous mess if you clean a bunch of little hills instead. It may not sound like any fun to do multiple rounds of cleaning instead of one – that’s more right?! – but usually when you add up the many small sessions, it ends up being less time than the one major clean-up. Don’t forget the reduction in the stress of watching the pile build up, walking around it, tripping over it (ever been stabbed by a toy?? YIKES!), plus the energy to get yourself going on it.
It’s not worth it when you can find or make the small pockets of time instead.
First, do your best not to move on to the next part of the day until you wrap up the last one. When you switch from going on a walk to play time, first put the stroller or baby carrier in its home. When playtime turns into meal time, the toys should go away first.
Ah! But this means everything needs a home. Yes, it sure does. Having a home with a place for everything takes time to develop. Give everything a spot, not worrying about if it’s the perfect spot, and adjust the spots over time, little by little. Eventually everything will be flowing in and out of their homes consistently.
What about things that need actual cleaning, not so much putting objects away, such as sinks and mirrors? As FlyLady says, swish and swipe! You can clean your whole sink every single morning while you brush your teeth. Or evening… or whenever you do that. Even though it likely doesn’t visibly need to be done daily, it will never get soiled enough to see if you wipe it down daily (or very often).
This works for many surfaces in your home: toilets, sinks, mirrors, microwave and stove, hand railings, windows, dusty surfaces, light switch plates, tub/showers. Once you get in this habit of quickly wiping down seemingly not-that-dirty surfaces, you’ll soon find yourself living in a sparkly home more often than not.
I know I just gave a nice long list of things to wipe down all the time, and this seems like a lot of work, but it doesn’t have to be! Seasons come and go where there really is much less or much more time to do things. If you are spending 5-8 hours a day sitting down nursing a baby, cleaning windows and stair railings is going to sink to the bottom of the list for a while and THAT’S OKAY.
So, make a priority list.
First, make a master list of every single thing that could be done in a perfect world. Next, order the tasks in order of importance. Jot down how long each thing takes to do; I give myself a whole hour for each meal I make, but 5 minutes for watering plants. Then, tell yourself how often it should be done. Don’t water plants every day; do wash dishes after each meal. Perhaps toilet wipe down is once or twice a week. Laundry is probably daily by the time you have 3 children.
Give this plan a try and tweak as you go. I really mean tweak; try not to overhaul the whole thing since you’ll be re-doing most of the steps just mentioned.
There is great temptation to tell yourself you’ll get around to each task when you notice it needs to be done, but this really is a failing strategy. Most overwhelmed moms are already doing this and it’s not working. I resisted a chore schedule for myself for a long time!
But once I finally did it….. it really worked (with tweaks)! Imagine my surprise!
I was most inspired by an excellent book called “Confessions Of An Organized Homemaker.”
Read my full review and get your own copy. I truly wish I had come across this book back when I was a brand new mom scratching my head, wondering how to get housework done with little kids everywhere!
There is a very sweet spot in a child’s life where they will gladly do basically anything as long as it seems fun or it is with mom. My current 11 month old LOVES to take things out. Any thing, out of any place. I made it a game. “You got a spoon from the dishwasher! GOOD BOY! You’re so smart! That’s for me. *take it from him and put in drawer* YAY you’re helping mommy! Do it again.” (he was already onto the next one) He loves this! He feels like something fun must be happening, I’m not allowing a mess to be made, and I’m making a positive environment during a mundane task.
1 and 2 year olds love to help with laundry – especially if you toss the socks on their head or play peek-a-boo with the towels. You can reach the bottom of the washer and they can put it in the dryer. Turns out, they also love to take things out of places. They stay occupied (therefore not making a mess somewhere else) and you are training them how to do and complete chores, that chores are a normal part of life that all family members participate in, and that you can have a cheerful attitude while doing it. So many birds with one stone!
If you start this helpfulness training early enough and don’t waver much, you will likely get to skip a lot of hemming and hawing from a little bit older child trying to learn to do a chore for the first time. Consistently discipline (literally, teach) them while they are younger to prevent the need to discipline them when they are more resistant. It’s so much smoother of a process for both of you.
Soon enough you can hand the whole task over to them.
This tip is much less immediate if it’s not already established. Hopefully you have other women in your life that you can reach out to every now and then to come alongside you in this unique season of trying to figure out how to get housework done when you have little kids.
Brainstorm about who you know who is physically nearby, doesn’t also have small children, and is a positive influence to you (not someone who will encourage you in commiseration). Think of other moms you know with teens to ask to come over, empty nesters, or even someone “elderly”. Grandmothers are often lonely these days because they lack close family and they’d be more than glad to hold a baby or play with a toddler while you take 45 minutes to wipe up your whole downstairs. And some grandmas are really tough cookies and will get up and work with you! They often have very fun and wise stories from their life to share as well.
Mom, you can’t do everything all the time. God did not make a body of Christ so that we could stay disconnected. Our society has been fragmenting more and more for decades. We can turn it around with new habits! It’s hard to swim upstream in this area, but it’s very worth it. Eventually, you’ll have the opportunity to be on the helping side.
Figuring out how to get housework done when you have little kids is no small task. It takes time to learn the skills, develop the time management habits, and just when you feel you have it down, you usually have a major life event that changes everything again. Do not lose heart; it’s not supposed to be a perfect flow every month of every year for your whole life. You just want to have this mindset secured so that you can glorify God in all that you do, even sweeping under the dinner table.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
Colossians 3:3-24
It’s not that God visits cleaner homes more. It’s that since He called you to this life of homemaking with children under foot, He wants to guide you in doing your best with it. He hasn’t handed us impossible tasks to watch us flounder, but He does present us with challenges to grow and purify us.
Lastly, remember to bathe your plans and work in prayer, committing your intentions to the Lord. Whether He allows them all to happen or not, it’s your heart He is after. Many times He also blesses the work of our hand and the housework can start to feel like less of a burden.
“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”
Proverbs 16:3
101 ways to save money from one Proverbs 31 woman to another. Boy, was she smart! Not only did she have funds coming and going, she was also a hard and diligent worker. Many of the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman directly or indirectly help her to manage money well.
A very common objection to planning and executing a life as a stay at home mom is that it’s very hard to survive on one income. This isn’t the post to dismantle the myriad ways in which that is too one-dimensional thinking. In any case, women, working out of the house or not, have so much opportunity to save money and thus positively impact their family’s bottom line.
Hold onto your hair because we’re going to fly through 101 ways to save money in every room of the house. Many of these tips were gathered from this Instagram post. Thanks for the collaboration, ladies!!
At the end you’ll spot my FAVORITE best kept secret of these 101 ways to save money! So here we go, room by room.
23. Ditch paper goods that you have to keep buying. Cloth napkins might sound scary but they’re simple once you get used to them. Paper napkins are not very expensive, but every little thing adds up! It also helps teach the kids good manners having to sit still to keep a napkin on their lap. They’re also a very easy laundry item for little helpers to learn to sort and fold
24. Secondhand furniture
25. Use fake centerpieces that will last a long time or use your own natural surrounding to gather centerpieces for free
26. Ditch the tv. Not only does it cost money to have and watch, it also exposes you to more advertising letting you know of all the things you “should” spend more money on. It also sucks out time with which you could be doing a million other things, many of which are time investments to keep your life low-cost or investing in your future
27. Secondhand furniture and rugs (yes, this will be in every room). Learn what days are trash day in your area and keep an eye out for perfectly good items that people are throwing away. I’ve picked up thousands of dollars of rugs and furniture for free this way!
28. Thrift or make your own curtains. I had NO idea how expensive window treatments were when I got married. I was SHOCKED
29. Do with less furniture. For a long time we didn’t have a couch because we had two cozy chairs and it was just myself and hubby for the first two years. We waited years until it was in the budget for a cheap one, then we were gifted a very nice one when someone was upgrading their living room. You don’t need to have a magazine-perfect home right away when you get married. It takes time to put together
30. Learn to play and enjoy music as free entertainment. It’s such a lovely way to spend time with your family, worship the Lord, and brings health to your brain and soul
31. DIY low cost photo and art displays
32. Watch Youtube videos and read blogs on how to use your phone camera to take high quality photos instead of hiring a photographer (although a service very worth paying for, sometimes it’s not in the budget)
33. Secondhand furniture (such as side boards, lamps, chairs) and rugs
34. Learn to cut your kids hair (again, a respectable skill worth paying for, but sometimes you can’t afford it) and maybe even your own (a big benefit of keeping long hair! It’s easy to trim your own)
35. Shower/bathe less often. Your skin doesn’t like to be stripped of its microbiome and oils all the time. Saves on water and soap (and time… and whatever your kids might be hurting while your eyes are off of them)
36. Even if you do shower daily, see how long you can go without washing your hair – especially curly girls like me! I only wash once a week and it didn’t take long for my hair to get used to, as in it’s not greasy at all after a whole week even though it used to get greasy by the third day, if not second
37. Shower/bathe in cool water instead of hot – less drying to the skin therefore the less skin products you need, and don’t have to pay to heat the water as hot
38. Keep your make-up simple. Oftentimes just brows, mascara, and occasional lip tint are all you need to look fantastic
39. Keep your skin care simple. It’s likely that your skin will love just washing with water and a diluted ACV toner. Use a fatty oil like coconut for make-up remover. See my Pinterest Beauty Board for simple clean ingredient ideas
40. Reduce or eliminate going to the nail salon. Do your nails at home, or skip it (and the chemicals) altogether since working hands don’t tend to cooperate with fancy nails anyway
41. Opt for washable cloth shower curtain liner instead of disposable plastic ones (although those can be wiped down and last quite a few years if you take care of them well)
42. If it’s yellow, let it mellow. You might be surprised how much flushing the toilet costs in water! (And investigate any dripping faucets or leaking toilets)
43. Investigate “family cloth”. Don’t say I didn’t warn you – it’s not for everyone
44. Keep your towels out. You don’t need a new one every single day
45. Reduce/eliminate single use things like make up wipes and cotton pads
46. Find reusable feminine hygiene. There are so many options nowadays and your body will appreciate the reduction in chemicals
47. Second hand furniture and decor: estate sale, garage sales, thrift stores, FB marketplace, eBay. Select timeless styles that won’t be hideous and outdated very soon.
48. Thrift shop for your wardrobe. If you are a mom in your childbearing years, try to find at least some pieces that will fit before, during, and after pregnancy. Don’t forget nursing access! Get rid of things that don’t fit or you haven’t worn in a long time. Less is more
49. Learn NFP/FAM (consider deleterious health effects of chemical methods) if you feel led to prevent pregnancy, and also as a way to monitor your health in general
50. Keep clothing minimal
51. Hand me downs, or trade with friends
52. Thrift for clothing
53. Cloth diaper
54. Swap toys with friends or neighbors – see if there is a borrowing toy library in your area
55. Get a Scribd subscription to access TONS of UNLIMITED audio and reading books for just a few dollars per month
56. Shop for books at garage sales, estate clean outs, and thrift stores
57. You can also thrift books online. Abebooks is one of my old faithfuls
58. Thrift furniture
59. Use Little Free Libraries
60. Borrow books from friends
61. Read what you have before buying any more. I know you’re like me and love to shop for books without having read the ones on your shelf right now (it’s definitely a character flaw I have)
62. Hang dry clothing to use the dryer less. It also helps clothing last longer as heat can damage fabrics over time
63. DIY laundry soap (this has pros and cons and doesn’t always work long term depending on the recipe)
64. Turn down the temperature on your water heater
65. Don’t wash on HOT (although some cleaner ingredients detergents do need to extra oomph from hot water)
66. Hand wash delicates to help them last longer
67. You don’t need to wash every single item every single time you wear it. At my house we don’t get out new jammies daily. Sweatshirts and other outerwear also doesn’t get washed every time
68. Less is more. You don’t need detergent, AND dryer sheets, AND scent balls, AND fabric softener. Most of these are the most toxic products in the home anyway and completely unnecessary
69. Check your water’s hardness. Most water is hard and minerals build up, wearing out clothing faster
70. Opt for dryer balls instead of sheets – do you know the salt in a sock trick for static?
71. Vinegar if you need to soften
72. Don’t hoard! Sell stuff. If you haven’t used it in a while, you probably don’t need it. Some things are stored because it is their nature to not be used all the time, and that’s fine, but there is probably stuff you can let go of
73. Store things well so that those things you use once a year don’t deteriorate and you need to buy another – a dehumidifier can help with this and the water can be used for water plants and other things
74. Use the library when possible instead of buying every book. They even usually have free learning programs/story time as well
75. Keep it simple, not Pinterest perfect. Focus on function over impressive design
76. Make your own decor like ABC charts, number lines, bible verses – better yet, have your children make it as a lesson
77. Find free and low-cost curriculum. You can learn just about anything for free these days with the internet!
78. Utilize Scribd for tons of audio and reading books. (YES I had to list this twice because we use it so much! Daily is not an exaggeration)
79. Utilize free printables
80. Utilize chalk boards and white boards to reduce consumable items that you have to keep re-buying. Many families enjoy a chalk paint wall
81. Learn through life and talking with people who know more. Conversation is free!
82. Unplug things when not in use
83. Plan free date nights with your spouse
84. Choose manual instead of paying for electricity on things like sweeping versus vacuuming and a hand crank food processor instead of electric
85. Simplify pet care – they don’t need Christmas presents and health insurance and clothing and all the other things marketed for “pet parents” these days
86. Vacation on the cheap (a huge can of worms!)
87. Use the thermostat at less extreme temps and put it on an energy saving temp while you’re out of the house or sleeping
88. Take good care of what you have so it lasts longer
89. Thrift for quality items that will last. If you have to keep buying things because you always get the cheapest quality, you’ll end up spending even more in the long run
90. Plan ahead for times you need to buy gifts. Try making things by hand or offering services to cut costs. As always, it’s the thought that counts, not how much you spend. Most of the time, the recipient is not looking for huge or very expensive gifts
91. At holidays, ask for practical things that you really need or will save you money in some way
92. Do not chase the latest trends – they may look ugly/outdated soon
93. Be content with what you have
“And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15
94. Do without, you likely won’t miss it
95. You can probably even survive without a cell phone. I did this for a few years. Because I stayed home, I used a very low cost landline and the internet we were paying for on a laptop to text and call by Google/Gmail
96. See if you can survive with only one family vehicle (or fewer than you have)
97. Learn to barter
98. Ditch disposable facial tissues (or use less)
99. Truth bomb: babies need almost nothing sold to parents for them and not everything has to be so heavily gendered so that it can’t be shared between brothers and sisters as hand me downs. Most baby stuff is very costly, breaks down quickly, toxic, or quickly becomes un-stylish
100. Do you know about Buy Nothing Project?? It is an organization that has groups in tons of local areas where everything is free. You can ask for items to borrow or keep, or offer things up that you don’t need. You never know what you’ll find! I’ve found brand new amazing toys for my kids’ birthdays, linens, plants, clothing, food, almost anything you can imagine.
101. Give you and shall receive. Everything in the universe belongs to God and so often the way He works is the opposite of the way we think – serve to be served, be last to be first, give to receive. When in need of something, always pray and see if God will come through in some special way for you. He doesn’t have to but He has so many times for me and my family.
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” Phil 4:19
Confessions Of An Organized Homemaker BOOK REVIEW
“What is management? For some people it’s when they manage to get through the day. Actually, efficient management is achieving maximum output with a minimum amount of time and energy. Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? With good … management skills, though, it is easily possible.” (p. 116)
“Confessions Of An Organized Homemaker: The secrets of decluttering your home and taking control of your life” promises to help you do more in less time producing less stress in every room of the house, and from your wardrobe to your purse to your car. Oh yes, and that junk drawer? Time to face it head on.
Deniece Schofield is a mother of five, author, and speaker. Her website tells that she was once drowning in clutter and messes but she had finally had enough and decided to do something about it. From there she honed her craft and shared her wisdom in four succinct books. Since raising her children she is also engaged in speaking at events and spent some time blogging into the 2010’s. This book review focuses on her 1982 book Confessions of An Organized Homemaker (I have the revised and expanded 1994 version.)
I believe I came across this book title in the back of another book that totally escapes me, or perhaps it was online hopping through links. I got a used copy on ebay, and it can also be found on Amazon and Deniece’s website.
But, why would a book on organization even catch my eye? Part of how I express “doing all things as unto the Lord” (Col 3:23) is to actively work on growing in certain areas in life (I aim for most/all) . Home management is certainly a complex one that I can always get better at! Because I don’t have any in-person mentors, I often turn to books. One of the things I love most about books is that it is far more content (and better thought-out) than the same number of words in online articles. A book thoroughly takes you from A to Z, from square 1 to 100.
Additionally, as seasons change, and as we move from house to house and grow our family, my home needs tweaking. Systems need to morph with the family. What worked for a while in one home with one child may no longer work in another home or with three children afoot. I often have to face the music that I am way out of my league already raising twice as many children than I grew up with (and, Lord willing, more to come along). So, naturally, any book written to homemakers to help alleviate the stress and clutter of a busy, lived-in home is fair game in my eyes.
Confessions takes the reader through their home and helps them take control. In doing so, you feel lighter and more freed up to enjoy the people in your home and your actual life. Major sections dive into family scheduling, decluttering the whole house, meal management, and how to actually get it done. Far from glossy pipe dreams in a magazine, the book practically spells out multiple techniques that just about anyone can shape to fit their needs – honestly, who doesn’t need to declutter and organize their home and/or life a bit? The advice is presented in such a way that if their home or life doesn’t exactly suit a certain idea that a principle can still be implemented in a different way.
Other topics include: calendar keeping, storage, shopping, meal planning, toys and all the other things children add to the house, and cleaning. To really bring it full circle, the last major section helps you put the pedal to the metal by deciding where to start and actually doing it! What’s the use in spending time reading a book of practical advice if it doesn’t help you actually do it? Ideas are not worth much until you put them into action.
Deneice really writes from the perspective that just about anyone can improve their life and that at least one little bit is better than nothing. She has the utmost confidence that at least once of the systems in the book will make something run smoother and take some stress off your plate. I appreciate that the author is writing with an upbeat attitude, instead of making you feel beat down! Having experienced life under a mountain of clutter, Deniece seeks to help the reader enjoy what she found possible in her own life.
I also live with this mindset – I truly believe anyone can learn even just one more home management skill, no matter how simple, that will give back to them more than they have to put into it. Even after over a decade of homemaking, I was inspired with new ways to improve how a few things run in my home and have been enjoying the benefits since.
So, let’s take a look at a few scriptures that may come to the mind when reading Confessions Of An Organized Homemaker. We see that the Bible describes the home as the wife’s domain (Titus 2:5; 1 Tim 5:14; Psalm 128:3; Prov 31), but what scriptures encourage us to do it well? This book really is about improving the skill of homemaking, not a treatise on women being the homemaker in the first place.
The Bible really does encourage all believers to give their best effort at doing all things to their best ability so that it may glorify God (Matt 5:16). You never know when someone will ask you why you put effort toward something (usually something mundane, trivial, boring, or gross when it comes to homemaking), or see that your efforts are an extension of your faith. We are seeking to “shine our light before men” (Matt 5:16) so that one day we can give them an answer “for the hope that is within us.” (1 Pet 3:15)
Ecclesiastes says, “whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might” (Ecc 9:10a) and Paul wrote in Colossians, “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men” (Col 3:23)
Specifically as a woman making a home, I also like to dwell on these Proverbs:
“Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” Prov 24:3-4
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Prov 14:1
”House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Prov 19:14
In conclusion, I very much enjoyed this book. Confessions Of An Organized Homemaker is great to pick up for a minute while waiting in the car for something, holding on the phone, while on the couch nursing a baby, relaxing in the tub, and not too heavy to read before going to bed.
I was left inspired with new ideas and encouraged to get them into practice. The ones I did implement so far have made life a bit simpler so that I am managing less stuff and enjoying my family and life more. I’m sure this book will help any homemaker feel more proficient and professional at this skill, which is also an art and a ministry.
“What you need to do is to put housework in its proper perspective. View it as a tool to help you get what you want. Don’t visualize yourself as a dismal failure. Instead, visualize yourself lying down every night with a peaceful feeling, knowing your work has been done well. You awaken to a house that is in order…”
Busy moms can find rest? NO WAY.
“Yeah, I never want to be a mom. I’ll just mess up my kids like my mom did,” I said as I sat in high school physics. The version of motherhood I had witnessed was stressed, always at wits ends, and unhappy with the kids. Why would I sign up for that?
Fast forward barely two years and I had gotten married. Fast forward just under two years more and I was holding the first baby I’d ever held in my life – my own first born. And I was smiling and happy. And I wanted more kids as soon as possible!
Where did this change come from?
I MET MOMS FULL OF PEACE AND JOY. THEY SHOWED ME THAT BUSY MOMS CAN FIND REST.
And not just any moms; to me these were super moms! They had 5-10 kids who they homeschooled full time. (This was earth shaking to me since I didn’t know anyone with more than four kids or any homeschoolers.) They did not complain about their kids, they enjoyed their kids. The kids were fun to be around and even loved each other and got along well. These moms had energy to invest in their marriage to make sure it thrived. They were interesting people with hobbies, personal interests, and… their OWN friends!
I instantly wanted this to be my life as well; God had placed the desire so strongly in my heart.
Without these moms I wouldn’t be writing to you today as a busy mom, pregnant with number five, letting you know some ways I have been able to implement rest into my life. Of course, I get tired and I do wish some days went by a little faster. My kids aren’t perfect. But I LOVE being a mom. I would not describe myself as stressed, fried, chronically overwhelmed, or discombobulated.
If some of these words describe you, I’m here to offer you some hope! I can’t necessarily make you less busy, but busy moms can find rest in the midst of everything going on around them.
In a world that wants us to be connected 24/7, order food on GrubHub at midnight, and have the Target staff bring our order out to us while the car is still on, it’s no surprise we’re all lacking rest. When you combine that with the thought that you’re failing your kids if you don’t sign up for a dozen activities and you’re failing God if you aren’t serving at church 5 days a week, it starts to feel hopeless.
Cutting through all the noise is the still, small voice of God letting us know that He has better for us. We need rest.
Here are some reasons why:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls”. Matthew 11:28-29
“And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work” Gen 2:2
Also see Hebrews 10 describing Jesus completing His work on the cross.
If you’re reading this because you are a busy mom, being a mother is a ministry He has for you right now. But don’t forget, you were a wife first, so that brings me to my next point: you need to build rest into your life so that you have energy left for your husband. Emotional, physical, intimate, and all the other types of energy. Although your kids most likely take up 90% of the clock time of your day, it’s imperative that you keep your marriage healthy by prioritizing it in other ways than simply the amount of time spent together.
“So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his.” Heb 4:9-10
It is good for all parts of our lives to somehow lead back to a reflection of the gospel.
Rest is to cease from work. What are your body, mind, heart, and spirit working on?
Exactly how rest looks will vary from person to person. Not everyone needs to (or can) perform the same actions and call it rest. There is physical rest, mental, emotional, and spiritual. We all like to sleep and restore our bodies. It’s good for our minds to unplug from the frenetic pace of online life and constant notifications or overthinking problems. Our hearts and emotions can find rest by dealing with walled-in hurts even from very long ago. And spiritually speaking, we may be striving at things that God would rather do for us. Each of these aspects of life can be positively impacted by the tips coming up.
Since rest is so important, it must be a snap of the fingers to accomplish, right? Wrong, of course! It’s extremely hard for moms for a number of reasons. Do any of these sound familiar?
Babies and toddlers don’t sleep all night like we wish they would sometimes. Barfing also seems to happen a lot at night. I’m sure you can think of more things like bed-wetting and nightmares that disrupt your sleep time.
I bet you’ve never looked around your home and thought, “Wow, I have finally done it! There is nothing else to do and I can retire now!”
This feeling comes from a variety of influences, but regardless, it does not contribute to rest. Planning and compartmentalizing can help here.
There’s a lie going around that you can actually do it all and have it all. It comes in the form of boss-babe, hustle, caffeine addict, have to keep my Insta-story bubble fresh, be signed up for 16 ministries at church, homeschool co-op, sports… etc. But you simply can never have or do it all. And that’s okay. God is faithful to give us wisdom on how to pick and choose.
How much more would you rest if your life revolved around the sun rising and setting for light? Or maybe the seasons of sowing and harvest time? Or if you had to walk or ride an animal to get everywhere? Your life would be a lot slower. Also harder in many ways, but with more rest periods naturally built in.
No longer do most families live with more than 2 generations under one roof, or big families with all the aunts, grandparents, cousins and siblings growing up and living in the same neighborhood or street. Communities (primarily built on biological families) have shrunk, spread out, and disconnected. There isn’t an aunt stopping by unannounced to hold the baby, a cousin dropping off abundance from his garden, or your sister passing out hand-me-downs from her kids like there used to be. Moms these days know they are not actually the only ones feeling the burden of motherhood, but also aren’t connected into support.
So, what can we do then? Rest is good for us and important but we have all these barriers. Do we throw up our hands in fatalism? Definitely not! This is a prize worth working for!
The trick in general is going to be having the mindset to build a life that you need less rest from in the first place, so let’s look at a few of those ways. Of course, there will be seasons where rest is much harder to build in, but you don’t want to get stuck in that mode forever.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted….” Ecc 3:1-2
Moms’ biggest hurdle for resting is usually … you have one guess … their kids, of course! Motherhood is very demanding, but we don’t have to let the kids take over everything in life forever and throw resting out the window completely.
“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart” Proverbs 29:17
Kids plus resting might sound like a pipe dream, but one of the biggest blessings in my life was meeting godly mothers who had total joy and peace in their homes full of children. They didn’t lack struggles in life, but they weren’t perpetually frazzled, stressed, and complaining about how the kids kept them running 24/7. Their examples showed me something that I didn’t know was possible! Here are some main things I observed in their families.
Especially when they are very small, it’s important to actually rest when your kids rest.
We’ve all seen the social media posts about “what should I do while my kid naps: rest, eat hot food in peace, shower in peace, or clean in peace?” We all get the joke, but most moms choose anything but rest! I have done the same many times. But I soon realized I was not organizing my time optimally to keep me rested. Yes, it’s less easy to eat hot food and shower and clean when your kids are bopping around, but it is possible (give them a wet rag, they will love to “help” you clean!).
If you are totally fried, resting when they rest could be your ticket. This will probably mean having a consistent, early, enforced bedtime for them, spending some time in the peace and quiet, and putting yourself to bed at a decent time. Don’t forget your own bedtime routine for sound sleep as well! My 8 year old still goes to bed at the same time as his 4 year old brother and I start to wind down shortly after them. I can only do this when I do eat and clean and whatever else while they are awake. When I have a full and productive day, rest in the evening and intentionally wind down, I sleep very well and am ready for the next day.
Now that we chatted about bedtime, let’s chat about waking up.
This is probably the hardest thing for me since becoming a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I am the ultimate morning person. I can wake up at a certain time without an alarm, jump right out of bed, prefer to workout nice and early, etc. But when I have a baby, I prefer not to set them on a schedule and they sleep (safely) right in my bed, so I prefer to get up whenever they wake.
I am less consistent during those seasons, but I’ve still had plenty of experience with rising before the rest of the family. Even 20 minutes make a world of difference! Setting the tone of the day with peace and quiet (and a glass of water with a drizzle of ACV or lemon) is the perfect start to my day every single time. It shows myself and the kids that I am leading the day from the front instead of rising to chase after them from the first moment.
Just about everyone understands that being a mom (especially of little ones) is very hard, but most people just aren’t sure how to offer help. For one mom, bringing “just-warm-it-up” food might be the most helpful while another mom might need more help wrangling kids at the table, getting the dishes cleaned, and doing bedtime (that’s ME!). Or it could be that you don’t want to sit your toddler in front of Curious George for the 5th time this week while you nap with the baby.
Whatever it is, the best way to get the help specific to your needs is to specifically ask.
Since I am home with my kids all day, the most helpful people I’ve developed relationships with are moms with older kids. These moms offer a lot of wisdom (and hope) having gone down this road before me. They also are more flexible with time because they aren’t parenting small ones anymore, tied to naps and bedtime. Also, their teens have come to help me before! These families have been absolutely life saving to me when I have a rare sick day or need extra hands around the house.
I absolutely love my mom friends that are in the trenches with me, but they are not the best life rafts because they need help too. Busy moms can find rest, but from other busy moms doesn’t usually tend to be that place. Inter-generational community is extremely valuable!
Be brave, ask for what you need.
Stop. Taking. Your. Phone. In. The. Bathroom.
As uncomfortable as it sounds at first, the world will not go down in flames if you don’t keep up with every single thing online.
Silence chat groups.
Give your phone a little jail cell during the day where you don’t look at it unless a very important call or text comes in. Give yourself one notification-checking time slot per day (or week!) so you are controlling it instead of the other way around. You will find your mind is so much clearer! Decisions making will come more easily, anxiety will reduce, you may find yourself less irritable, and sleep better. If you can’t do any other tips, do this one!
“And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”” Exodus 33:14
This easily could have been first on the list, but I wanted it to be the main takeaway of the ways busy moms can find rest.
Life is not going to play nice. Satan will always be throwing fiery darts (Eph 6:16).
God allows trials (1 Peter 4:12-13).
There are seasons of finding rest, and times where it’s not going to be easy to come by. (Ecc 3)
Through it all, our peace has to come not from the circumstances we are facing, but the mighty hand of God. We have to trust that no matter what, in the end, when we see Him face to face, all wrongs will be made right, There will be perfect justice.
We will never be tired, or exhausted, or stressed out again. Oh, praise!
Do you find yourself exercising that kind of faith when you’re down and out? If not, don’t worry, but do practice. The best way is to continually fill yourself with the Word. But how can you do it when you’re totally fried and out of energy and time?!
For me, the best option is listening – either to the straight Word itself on audio (we love the dramatized KJV audio on Bible Gateway), or a pastor teaching through the Bible verse-by-verse. For years when I had 1 then 2 then 3 toddlers, I had the bible teaching radio on for hours per day. Basically, if it wasn’t nap time, I had it on to wash us in the Word, even if I couldn’t listen very actively. Sure enough, the one little phrase I would hear would be such a balm to my soul.
Nowadays, my kids are a little bigger. The best way to get in my Bible time right now is reading in the morning before everyone gets up and after they go to bed. Sometimes I can fit in a podcast or radio show while I’m cooking but … now my kids are old enough to start to learn to cook. (Changing seasons keep us moms on our toes!)
I personally love to read and listen chapter by chapter through the whole Bible over and over and over. It takes faith in the power of the Word that even if a passage doesn’t seem uplifting or applicable to my life that day, that it has a purpose that God will fulfill if I just trust Him (Isaiah 55:11). You’ll notice that when you are completely empty because life is beating the tar out of you, that, if you’re filled up with the Word, the Spirit flows out of you in those rough times instead of fleshly responses.
God truly is our strength when we are weak! HE is the ultimate reason busy moms can find rest!
Prioritizing rest is very counter cultural for most of us, even in our Christian circles. It seems like the busiest mom wins the attention and praise. However, wouldn’t you rather win a peaceful home life, enjoying your children, a sweet marriage, and connection with the Lord? I sure do!
It’s not that busy times are wrong or sinful, it’s that we need to keep our eyes open for when it’s appropriate or not. Even good things can wear us out when they are in the wrong context.
Which of the things on this list stood out to you as something you can or need to implement? Ask the Lord for wisdom and strength. Make a plan and try it out. If it doesn’t work, adjust a little, don’t throw it out altogether after one try. Also, sometimes mentioning your intention to a supportive friend can help you stick to it as well,
especially if you ask them to check in with you later about your idea.
You never know if you’ll become one of these moms I met years ago. (Read my full testimony here.) You can live a full life yet be overflowing with peace and calmness, not for your own recognition, but to inspire another mom to seek this blessing which God has available to them also. Busy moms can find rest, but they need sisters to show them the way and God’s wisdom and strength to apprehend it.
DO YOU KNOW A MOM FRIEND WHO NEEDS REST? SEND THIS TO HER!
Do you love your husband? Of course you do! After all, you married him. But, do you really, actively, intentionally love him day by day? Are you growing in your love for him and learning new ways to improve in displaying it towards him?
You’ve made it to part three of the Femininity 101 series. We started with Biblical Femininity Intro then started looking in the Word in Titus 2. Part two was the first instruction to younger women: be sober. This brings us to the next instruction: love your husband.
Titus 2:3-5 reads,
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
The Greek word here is actually one word for the whole phrase “to love their husbands” or “be lovers of their husbands”. It is phílandros (G5362) from philos (G5384 – actively fond, friendly companion) and aner (G435 – man, husband): fond of man, i.e. affectionate as a wife:—love their husbands.
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This part of the series really has to be an overview because this one topic alone could take up thousands of blog posts. There are SO many ways to love your husband – and we will get to a list at the end of this post, so hang in there! – that we won’t be going in depth on each and every one at this time. First, notice some initial observations about this phrase in Titus.
Clearly, it’s implied that the younger women have husbands. It almost seems too obvious to point out. It’s that easy to skip over. For most of human history, marriage has been desired for younger, as opposed to older, women. It’s been the rule instead of the exception.
But now, in industrialized post-modern nations, it’s largely shunned. “Get a career first, go to school, you should travel, don’t tie yourself down, you don’t need a man, there are no good men anyway, you’ll just get divorced, you aren’t mature enough, marriage is just a piece of paper, explore other sexual orientations, live together but don’t get married…” The dissenters continuously toll.
While not all young women will marry, it is mentioned in God’s Word which transcends all cultures and times, so we know that He is not against it as the world tells us to be. We also know that in times and places where more women get married younger, marriages last longer, and families stay together more. These are things that bring joy to God’s heart and He wishes to bless us with these things!
It’s not even hard to find Christian that are against young people getting married. Another can of worms for another day, this hurts God’s heart as well.
Why is this even on the list? Don’t women get married to men they love? Maybe, maybe not. Arranged marriages or those predicated on strategic alliances or utility rather than love were more common in other times (and still happens in many places). Of course in a situation like that, to love your husband would be something that a young wife more obviously had to grow into over time. Even if you do get to marry a man of your choosing that you already love, love is created by God to grow and mature over time. It is a choice to maintain your love because if you don’t, it will wax cold.
But also, since Genesis, it is in women’s nature to not do a good job at this. It simply isn’t necessary for God to tell us to do something we are already good at, is it? Almost all the instruction in the Bible is something our flesh does not default to. So we need to be taught. And we have to practice. And we’ll never be perfect at it. But it’s worth devoting time and energy toward.
You must love your husband; it is not enough to merely tolerate him. Your marriage is worth nothing if you grin and bear it. It is not the glorious reflection of the gospel God made marriage to be when you put up with him, even if you do so very peacefully without fighting and nagging. Everyone else won’t be able to see under the surface, but God surely can.
Just as we need to be taught to love God, so wives need to be taught to love their husbands. Over and over we are told to love God (Matt 22:37), seek after Him (Prov 8:17), abide in Him (John 15:4), love His word (Psalm 119:140), grow in knowledge of Him (2 Peter 3:18), walk in His ways (Psalm 128:1), and more. All of this practice in marriage directly translates to our relationship with God and vice versa. Nothing He asks us to do just stops with that thing alone. There is always another layer, or many! Love your husband to the end that it prepares you better every day to love the Lord.
And now, finally, let’s look at some ways to actually do this!
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This is probably what you came here for! Far from an exhaustive list, here are a few general ways to love your husband. Over time you will see more and more posts on the blog breaking down each of these points – this is just the 101 series.
Now, in no particular order, you can love you husband in these ways:
Learning to love your husband will never end. There will always be new seasons in life until the day you go to be with the Lord. You will age and grow. You will probably raise children and move homes a few times. God will bring you in and out of trials. All of these experiences will accumulate a long list of opportunities to find new ways to love your husband.
How is the season you are in right now? Is it a rather challenging one? Maybe just thinking about your husband disgusts, annoys, or makes you cry in despair. Know that you are not alone, but even more importantly, you are not beyond God’s loving and mighty hand to redeem this time and breathe life into your marriage again. You can do it by His strength! Nothing is impossible for God!
On the other hand, is your current season a wonderful one full of making precious memories and having fun? That’s great! Celebrate and be thankful! Enjoy it to the fullest and spread what compassion and hope about a beautiful marriage you can to those around you. Everyone needs this good news about God’s best plan for marriages to glorify Him.
Your husband needs your life. He may survive without it, but he will not thrive. (See this article on men’s mental health after divorce.)
God knows exactly what we need to hear, even when it seems uncomfortable… or too obvious. Before you can implement anything on the above list, you have to decide in your heart to let God change and grow you. You have to commit to not staying in the same spot you find yourself today. Even though you won’t execute the best way to love your husband every single day, the commitment to do better in general as time goes on will keep you moving forward when you hit some bumps.
Lastly, don’t forget our best example, the Lord Himself. His love is perfect and unfailing, boundless and unconditional.
Be sober. It may not be what immediately comes to mind when you think of feminine qualities, but it is the first on the list in Titus chapter 2. The best way to start diving into God describes as feminine is to look to the Word. Thankfully God has given women instructions regarding what to focus on. If you came to this post from “Biblical Femininity Introduction” you’ll remember that I said, “It’s important to take what is important to God and make it important to us.” What better place to start than the Word to find out what is important to Him!
Did it sneak up on you this year like it did me? Again?! I’m just glad it’s not the first weekend of the month!
This year Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 9. Mother’s Day began in the early 1900’s by Anna Jarvis who had lost her mother a few years prior. The first official celebration was backed by Philadelphia store owner John Wanamaker. Festivities were held all over the United States in his stores, with a special ceremony being held at a Methodist church in West Virginia.
Since then, Mother’s Day has been celebrated at a National Holiday on the second Sunday of May. While some decry how commercial it has become, it’s a fun day to do a little something extra for the mother figures in your life.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Proverb 31:28
Long before mothers had a national holiday, God set them as the keepers of the home. They nourish and comfort all who live there and visit. Homemaking is a hard job! But the home is perfectly designed with care by God to be a woman’s domain.
They all have unique skills and giftings that make each other their homes special.
Let’s look at the homemaker’s gift guide and consider 6 types of moms that may be in your life.
*This post contains affiliate links, which means that at no cost to you, the author will earn a commission.
Thank you for using this simple way to keep this ministry going!
I remember the shock and joy I felt when I was 6 months pregnant (after two long years of waiting) with my first baby on Mother’s Day and someone said the first “Happy Mother’s Day!” to me. Expectant moms are mothering from the day they get pregnant (sometimes before if they have really been preparing). It takes a lot of physical, mental, and emotional work. Show them that you’re thinking of them already with some of these ideas and don’t forget to set up meals and household help for the first 8 weeks or so after baby comes.
Essential reading about the birth process from a traditional midwife
Timeless essential reading from a doctor’s perspective
Must-have breastfeeding training
A nursing mom’s must-have
Lactation-enhancing tea
Sitz herbs for after delivery
Baby doesn’t need much more than onesies!
The only baby booties/socks that will stay on
Other moms don’t enjoy Mother’s Day because they have lost their babies/children. They don’t appear to be mothers to onlookers, although they very much are. A mother’s heart does not go anywhere when a child does. Here are some things that friends sent me after we lost a child. They really warm my heart to this day. If you know their child’s name, be sure to include it.
Custom memorial jewelry
Custom digital art
Backpack? Check! Water bottles? Check! Snacks? Check! First aid kit? Check! Sunglasses? Check!
Extra pair of clothing for everyone? Check!
This is how your super-organized mom leaves the house …. For ANY outing. I believe it’s a super power. She gets scoffers, eye rolles, and sideways glances often, but everyone knows where to go when they are in a pinch – to her!
Let her know that you appreciate her special skill.
Homeschooling is messy
without a plan!
A well-run home usually has a desk or office area
For when the mail just has to wait a little.. but not in the mailbox
What’s for dinner, mom??
Organized AND labeled
Whether your crunchy mom is new to the club or not, she is passionate, that’s for sure. She may love reducing, reusing, and recycling, and she does not fail to notice that she saves money while she’s at it. She relies on items that have been used for generations without fail. Here are a few ideas:
A crucnhy mom’s best friend
Save trees and chemicals
with natural fibers
Revolutionize your diet mindset from what not to eat to what TO fuel
your body with
Goodbye, plastic! Was
not nice knowing you
Healthy food at killer prices delivered right to her door
Cloth diapers’ best friend
(and barf too… yuck)
Plant moms LOVE taking care of plants almost as much as their own children – after all, they don’t talk back and their grocery bill is miniscule. Plants liven up a home and some even cleanse the air! Help her make her home a bit cozier this spring.
It’s not plant heaven without some hanging pots
Every plant mom’s arch nemesis is forgetting to feed the plants
Caring for houseplants 101
Customizable plant stationery to share the plant love
Grow a lot of fresh food in just a little amount of space
Stay cool in the sun while gardening outside
Some mom’s days revolve around waking and sleeping, or the school schedule. But the foodie mom centers her days on mealtime. Basically every part of the day is either prepping for a meal, making a meal, or cleaning up from a meal. Then she thinks about enjoying the next meal. And she truly enjoys it! Food is a love language to her.
The world’s most versatile kitchen tool
Feed the family how humans have eaten for thousands of year to achieve and maintain optimal health
A gripping read about food
Real food for real busy cooks
Another versatile kitchen item, silicone mats are great for making and shaping baked goods as well as heat protection and more
Browse Groupon and other local resources for cooking classes in your area
Eventually the kids grow up, but you never stop being their mother. When mom graduates to empty-nester or grandma, she’s still an important part of the family. She has built a legacy and there is much to appreciate about her. Memories have been made and prayerfully there are still many more to make. I just couldn’t leave grandma out of the homemaker’s gift guide, even if she isn’t hosting family dinner every night of the week anymore.
Tech-savvy grandma will enjoy digital photos of the family
Pass down memories and wisdom in a beautiful book
Grandma’s house needs a few baby things to make visiting a snap
Melt her heart with a custom story book
Sometimes it’s grandma who needs to be babysat
Whether it’s mom-to-be, grandma, aunt, or another special woman in your life, she has given so much. Maybe this year she doesn’t need any physical gifts. Quality time and handmade cards are just as special, sometimes moreso! What is her favorite pastime? Try to do that together. Whatever you end up doing, give her an extra hug, too.
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